The Suicide's Soliloquy is a poem attributed to Abraham Lincoln. It was planned as one of the next few videos, but I've been having some issues with it. First and foremost, I honestly don't believe myself when I read it.
The thing is, I'll admit that I occasionally understand what Lincoln (or the real writer) is talking about. That crushing feeling of despair almost comes out of the mouth in a very surreal way. Because of that, reciting the poem in a believable way is rather difficult. It's the first piece I've been working on that I might actually want to print out and write notes on. Unlike the accent work, it's not just displaying something, unlike Orson Welles, it's not meant to be flat and monotone. Further, there's a lot of heavy imagery that I need to actually convey with nothing but my voice. THAT is the trouble I'm running into. Focus on the voice, lose the tone, focus on the tone, lose the imagery. So, what I think the next step is, is to print the poem out and write down specific words to emphasize and images line by line. What would Lincoln have been feeling and seeing in his mind's eye that led him to speak a particular line? Why are those lines, those words, chosen over other ones? What would make him want to say it like this, write it in this way, so that others would see and feel what he saw and felt. There are certainly specific words meant to be emphasized, images to convey through text, and feelings to be shared. Right now, I'm having trouble reading in a way that shows that kind of complexity, so for the time being, I won't finish recording it.
Of course, after that issue, there's the problem of the specific voice. For some reason, I keep descending into a pseudo-Orson Welles voice. It definitely doesn't fit the tone or tempo.
After doing a lot of research, I'm not even sure what to do with the voice other than simply act and not change my voice too much. See, there are no documented recordings of Lincoln's voice and the descriptions from a couple of other politicians are... spotty at best. I'm not really comfortable doing what the reports say about his voice without some kind of example. Wiki and some other sources say:
Lincoln's voice was, when he first began speaking, shrill, squeaking, piping, unpleasant; his general look, his form, his pose, the color of his flesh, wrinkled and dry, his sensitiveness, and his momentary diffidence, everything seemed to be against him, but he soon recovered.
--William H. Herndon letter, July 19, 1887
But whenever he began to talk his eyes flashed and every facial movement helped express his idea and feeling. Then involuntarily vanished all thought or consciousness of his uncouth appearance, or awkward manner, or even his high keyed, unpleasant voice.
--Abram Bergen in Intimate Memories of Lincoln
The [second] inaugural address was received in most profound silence. Every word was clear and audible as the ringing and somewhat shrill tones of Lincoln's voice sounded over the vast concourse.
--Noah Brooks in Washington in Lincoln's Time
I have a lot of trouble getting my voice to sound demure and "squeak" So I'm reallying not sure how to make it do those things without a solid reference. I may shelve this project until I can find a better voice to imitate that will get me closer to the description of Lincoln's. I know I actually have a few readers now, so if any of y'all have ideas or voices for me to take a look at, it'd be much appreciated!
On another note, I am doing something a little different this video. I didn't feel like I was in the right mood or getting the proper feeling to do this recording silently, so I've decided this particular video will include some background music. What you may ask? Midnight Syndicate (Darkness Descends). I've used them for D&D and Whitewolf games in the past and they create a very somber, dark mood that perfectly fits the tone of the poem. Better still is they're a local group. Gotta support the local arts! Anyhow, I suppose that's all for this update.
I'm going to try recording it again tomorrow morning. There's something to be said for method acting, but there's also something to be said for not being in the right mood to read this.
Cheers, all. I'll catch ya tomorrow.
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